Thanks to my little teacher! (Who is just 16 years old) A piece of shit! I will do a lot to catch up!!! _____________________________________ ? t.R.]] 說: i have skimmed ur essay ? t.R.]] 說: and i am editing it right now ? t.R.]] 說: based on the opinons of your tutor and mine ? t.R.]] 說: i hvae some questions for you ? t.R.]] 說: 1) you think that abortion should be illegalized right? ? t.R.]] 說: 2) your thesis statement is "abortion should be considered illegalize" your supporting evdiences dont go along with ur thesis, which means that they are not supporting the thesis ? t.R.]] 說: nvm its just your gramma make it so confusing! ? t.R.]] 說: haha no offense but its true ? t.R.]] 說: 3) am i allowed to fix the grammatical error inside the quotes? ? t.R.]] 說: 4) i dont get this "Individual rights should be beginning at birth. That means creating a new, a separate human being. We should know that right is individual. It is belong to an actual human being, not the potential one." ? t.R.]] 說: what are u trying to say? ? t.R.]] 說: 4) you dont have to say "should". you are arguing about it, u are strong on ur arguement ? t.R.]] 說: 5) dont get this part "Making decision of aborting a fetus can be taking out of their hand only. No other people can dictate what she may do with her own body, even her husband." ? t.R.]] 說: 6) what does moral has to do with abortive? ? t.R.]] 說: 7) how can they prossibly ensure their lives by aborting a baby? ? t.R.]] 說: i am not done yet ? t.R.]] 說: i am now on ur 3rd paragraph ? t.R.]] 說: when is it due? ? t.R.]] 說: i will try to edit the whole thing and send it back to u as soon as possible! ? t.R.]] 說: hey ? t.R.]] 說: are u there? ? t.R.]] 說: 2 more paragraphs then i am done ? t.R.]] 說: i have a saying, u want it in a good way or a bad way? ? t.R.]] 說: 2 more paragraphs ? t.R.]] 說: i have a saying, u want it in a good way or a bad way? ? t.R.]] 說: answer my question ? t.R.]] 說: !!! ? t.R.]] 說: i have a saying, u want it in a good way or a bad way? ? t.R.]] 說: or both ? t.R.]] 說: how about i will give u both? ? t.R.]] 說: comment ? t.R.]] 說: good - this is not bad for a hk student (but below english standard when compares to others) bad - this is a piece of shit ? t.R.]] 說: sorry i dont wanna be mean ? t.R.]] 說: what i have for you as suggestion is that u should take some english courses ? t.R.]] 說: u have a lot to catch up ? t.R.]] 說: i will send u the first 3 paragraphs of ur essays ? t.R.]] 說: i will work on the rest of them like tonight ? t.R.]] 說: i will work on the 2 other paragraphs tonight ? t.R.]] 說: take ur tutor's advices ? t.R.]] 說: WORK ON UR ENGLISH SKILLS!!! ? t.R.]] 說: this is so british style, i barely understand it =] i asked my mom for help, she can understand it like 50% ? t.R.]] 說: i am on my thanksgivings break =] ? t.R.]] 說: mhmmmm ? t.R.]] 說: take ur time ? t.R.]] 說: what do u think? ? t.R.]] 說: this is a high school standard ? t.R.]] 說: i didnt really use my own standard cuz like i still wanna make it more like u write it ? t.R.]] 說: heheh ? t.R.]] 說: hahah ur teacher can def tell that u dont actually write it ? t.R.]] 說: lol ? t.R.]] 說: its not ur style ? t.R.]] 說: but still, its a whole lot better ? t.R.]] 說: show it to ur tutor =] ? t.R.]] 說: i did have one ? t.R.]] 說: =] ? t.R.]] 說: i gave u one ? t.R.]] 說: every essay/ article/ paragraph has its own structure ? t.R.]] 說: i rephrase basically everything, including thesis statement, topic sentence, concluding sentence/ transition sentence, UNREPITATIVE supporting details ? t.R.]] 說: =] ? t.R.]] 說: ur third supporting details: ? t.R.]] 說: 1) how is illegal abortion lucrative? ? t.R.]] 說: ok i finished ? t.R.]] 說: heres it is ? t.R.]] 說: hope you like it ? t.R.]] 說: i dont mind editing ur papers if u need me ? t.R.]] 說: ------------------------------------ ? t.R.]] 說: here're my feedbacks in general ? t.R.]] 說: 1) study english gramma, ur gramma is confusing and therefore its hardly comprehenable! ? t.R.]] 說: 2) wrong diction - learn more vocabs and be sure u understand them FULLY then use them PROPERLY ? t.R.]] 說: 3) Dont MENTION IT AGAIN! I GOT IT!! - stop repeating urself. its boring to see the same thing over and over again ? t.R.]] 說: 4) not a very good introduction. YOU NEED A THESIS STATEMENT IN THE INTRODUCTION in order to let ppl know what u are gonna talk about ? t.R.]] 說: 5) Conclusion - conclusion is to sum up whatever u have said before. NOT TO REPEAT WHAT U HAVE SAID BEFORE. therefore, u dont need to re-state ur ideas again! WE GOT IT!! =] ? t.R.]] 說: thats all ? t.R.]] 說: hope you like my edited version ? t.R.]] 說: =] ? t.R.]] 說: heres teh essay ? t.R.]] 說: i am done ? t.R.]] 說: hope u like it ? t.R.]] 說: lemme know if u dont get anything ? t.R.]] 說: i dont mind explaining ? t.R.]] 說: =] ? t.R.]] 說: i am glad tat i can help _____________________________________ | 
